with your own penis?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
