are you still at the devil's house?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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