I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
