I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
