girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
