Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize