Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
