Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
