I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
