a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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