I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
