Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
