she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are we still banned from the library?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
