I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize