are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
