guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
