So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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