its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
