This is not my ceiling
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
