so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and she was petting her beer can
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
