i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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