Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
