Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
