I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
