I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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