so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize