I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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