Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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