5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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