Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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