i already hear my dad disowning me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need to sanitize my soul.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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