i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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