You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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