I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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