Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
