You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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