Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this just has baby written all over it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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