is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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