never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
did i walk over a car last night?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
