Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
