The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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