I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
