I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
