shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize