Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
