Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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