i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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