He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
