So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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