mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
