all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
