You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize