Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
