Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
