Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Be still, my beating vagina.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
