guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
