I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
