Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
