If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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