You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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