I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
one might say we're banned from that church
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
