I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
