forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
