We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
