The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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