btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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