Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
