I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
