I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
